Somehim was thin. Normal thin. At some point he found Someher, a lovely woman who loved him and loved to have sex with him. He was very happy. So much so, that they almost didn't go out and, when they did, it was only to go to a restaurant and eat way more calories than a human body needs in a week. Somehim started gaining weight and Someher found him less and less attractive. They started having less and less sex, which, of course, didn't help the weight issue. At some point they decided to separate. Somehim went to live alone and got more and more depressed. The depression made him eat less and less, which made him thin again. So, sure enough, he found a new Someher that found him attractive, they had lots of sex and went to a lot of restaurants, where Somehim regain his apetite, and started gaining more and more weight. The new Someher started finding him less and less attractive... Until a voice was heard from heaven... "Will you ever learn? You are a such a dumb-ass!"
|April 29, 2006, 9:03 am|
In a real time Rudy story, an autistic kid is allowed to play the last basketball game of the season and he scores 20 points (including six 3 pointers.
|April 28, 2006, 8:26 pm|
|April 28, 2006, 4:55 pm|
It seems, we don't have enough oil!
Venezuela, the world's fifth-largest oil exporter, has struck a $2bn deal to buy about 100,000 barrels a day of crude oil from Russia until the end of the year. Venezuela has been forced to turn to an outside source to avoid defaulting on contracts with "clients" and "third parties" as it faces a shortfall in production, according to a person familiar with the deal. Venezuela could incur penalties if it fails to meet its supply contracts.
|April 28, 2006, 7:03 am|
A barber makes a movie about the violent stories he hears from his costumers. The movie costs 100$ to make and it's a huge success! I haven't seen it because I am not sure I want to...
|April 27, 2006, 10:59 pm|
From Stokmatik I got this amazing story, of an employee of an Australian airline with last name "Gay", who was travelling on a free ticket. Unfortunately, there were some problems and paying passengers had to board that plane. According to the company rules, employees flying for free had to descend from the plane. The confusion ensued when, due to a seat change, another passenger was asked if "He was gay" an upon the affirmative and surprised answer, was told he couldn't be on that plane. Mr. Gay stood up to try to clear up the confusion, but that just caused every single gay person on the plane to stand up and protest the "mistreatment". I laugh my ass off!
|April 27, 2006, 10:13 pm|
Stupid kids try to steal David Copperfield's cellphoneNot necessarily mobile news as such, we still thought you'd get a kick out of this tale of four teenage thugs, two lovely assistants, and a man who earns his living by making stuff disappear. After Sunday's show at Palm Beach, Florida's Kravis Center, illusionist David Copperfield and his female assistants were walking back to their tour bus when they were approached by a small pack of kids. Instead of requesting the world-famous magician's autograph (don't laugh, we have one), the three 17-year-olds and one 18-year-old proceeded to rob the women of their purses at gunpoint, making off with serveral hundred dollars and a RAZR. When it came time to jack Copperfield, however, the teens were apparently dumbfounded by his special powers, as he managed to conceal his own wallet and cellphone while appearing to completely empty his pockets in a trick he referred to as "reverse pickpocketing." Eventually all four morons were picked up in their stolen car after Copperfield took note of the license plate, and their cache of loot from the night's activities was returned to its rightful owners.
[Via mopocket and textually]
[Engadget Mobile]very nice trick. Every Venezuelan should learn it. We can hide our stuff in a robbery... Now, if only we could get a trick for not getting ourselves kill we would be set!
|April 25, 2006, 7:51 am|
Scott McNealy's is no longer Sun's CEO, Jonathan Schwartz takes over. Sun is still losing money, but never mind they have a consistent strategy now
|April 24, 2006, 8:57 am|
From The Devil's Excrement some Venezuelan Oil facts, among them this big subsidy to the rich!
The total amount of the gasoline subsidy (gasoline is sold at 4.46 US$ cents per liter or 17 US$ cents per gallon) is 14.5% of the National Budget or three times what is spent on the "Misiones". By the way, my share of the subsidy as one that is in the top 25% of the population by income is ten times larger than that of those in the bottom quartile.Long live the socialism of the 21st Century!
|April 23, 2006, 10:01 am|
|April 23, 2006, 9:33 am|
Schumacher wins a race, but Alonso is still the man to beat. It is clear they screw up when the Renault came into its second stop. It should have stayed in track and made fast laps. Still, this is a special race for Ferrari, we have to see if they keep the pace in the next few races. Renault does well in all tracks...
|April 22, 2006, 2:32 pm|
I've criticized policies like requiring a password change every three months as absurd and counter productive. Here is an excellent account Security myths and paswords, very well written. A snipet:
In summary, forcing periodic password changes given todayâ€™s resources is unlikely to significantly reduce the overall threat â€” unless the password is immediately changed after each use. This is precisely the nature of one-time passwords or tokens, and these are clearly the better method to use for authentication, although they do introduce additional cost and, in some cases, increase the chance of certain forms of lost â€œpassword.â€
|April 22, 2006, 10:18 am|
F1: Schumi breaks pole recordI hope this means Ferrari's resurrection and competition for Alonso/Renault. It seems to me that neither Fisichella, nor Masa are good enough for the car they drive. We shall learn more next year when Alonso goes to McLaren. There seems to be some bad blood between Briatore and Alonso for some criticism the champion made of the Renault team. He claims he has lacked support from the team and that he expects nothing from them this year. I wonder what he means...
Michael Schumacher sets a new all-time record for Formula One pole positions at the San Marino Grand Prix. [BBC News | News Front Page | UK Edition]
With this pole Schumacher breaks the tie with Sena making him the record pole setter.
|April 21, 2006, 6:25 pm|
|April 21, 2006, 5:33 pm|
You probably won't read this in most opposition sites, but it turns out that the government was right to pressure the US on the aviation issue. And I was right to point it out. Good for them! Now Venezuela is category 1 and the aviation industry, and consumers, will hopefully benefit.
|April 20, 2006, 10:22 pm|
|April 20, 2006, 1:12 pm|
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.[Via Dvorak Uncensored]
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as â€œEuro-Englishâ€.
In the first year, â€œSâ€ will replace the soft â€œcâ€. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard â€œcâ€ will be dropped in favour of â€œkâ€. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome â€œphâ€ will be replaced with â€œfâ€ This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent â€œeâ€ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing â€œthâ€ with â€œzâ€ and â€œwâ€ with â€œvâ€.
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary â€œOâ€ kan be dropd from vords kontaining â€œouâ€ and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor t rubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
|April 20, 2006, 10:41 am|
Venezuela quits Andean trade bloc
President Hugo Chavez says his country is leaving the Andean Community of Nations.This is an important isolation step for the economy. Charge tarifs to your second most important trading partner (Colombia), specially if you are already charging tarifs to the first (USA), it's a perfect way to change who your trading partners are. Obviously Chavez wants Brazil to be the main trading partner with Cuba occupying Colombia's current position (if it hasn't already! ). Next stop: Nationalize the banking system. Keep all corruption at home.
|April 19, 2006, 2:33 pm|
Yep, men are distracted by sexy women. I wonder if my male readers are paying attention...
|April 18, 2006, 11:33 am|
Under the title My Struggle Harper's has posted an extract (? ) from a March 3, 1999 letter to Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, the Venezuelan terrorist known as Carlos the Jackal, from Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez, in response to a previous letter from Ramirez, who is serving a life sentence in France for murder. It starts
Citizen Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, Distinguished Compatriot,Very poetic, but you have to wonder about the title given by Harper's...
Swimming in the depths of your letter of solidarity I could hear the pulse of our shared insight that everything has its due time: time to pile up stones or hurl them, to ignite revolution or to ignore it; to pursue dialectically a unity between our warring classes or to stir the conflict between themâ€”a time when you can fight outright for principles and a time when you must choose the proper fight, lying in wait with a keen sense for the moment of truth, in the same way that Ariadne, invested with these same principles, lays the thread that leads her out of the labyrinth.